I know that sounds a little prideful to say that I know the secret to a good marriage! But, I’m talking about a “good” marriage, not a “perfect” one!
Many years ago I finally understood that God wasn’t asking that I’d be perfect. He only asked me to follow Jesus, try to become more and more like Him and do “good” works – not “perfect” works.
So, that works within our marriage, Bruce’s and mine! We are not perfect people by any shot of imagination! We ARE followers of Jesus. We are seeking to imitate Jesus, first of all, and some other “saints” along the way. We have learned to forgive each other DAILY – to begin with.
Actually, the point that I really want to make with this blog is: When does a marriage begin?
It is fair to say that it starts on the day of our wedding! That’s correct, for the most part!
We can expand a little and say that it starts when the man proposes and the woman accepts his request. From then on, the two start planning the wedding day and how they are going to live life after that. Right?
Let’s go back a little further and think about the “dating” period! I believe that what each one brings into that “dating relationship” says a lot about how the marriage will be. If people go into “dating” thinking that it’s just a “trial” period – if they don’t like the other person, they can easily get out of it – that same mentality goes into a marriage relationship.
Actually, that’s why I really don’t like this “dating game”. It is a game, alright! There’s enough of “pretending to be someone else” going on and “dressing sexy for the other”, and “spending too much alone time”, and the list goes on and on. It is a game, because both can win (if the relationship ends up in marriage) or both can lose (if they break up – when at least one is brokenhearted). It is a game for people who are young and really don’t know themselves well enough to know what exactly they are looking for in the other person. Even worse than a game, I can say, it’s a “gamble” – you just never know how much you will “get out of it” in the end. As a gambler, if a person thinks that the other one is worth the time and money, a lot will be “invested” on movies, restaurants, outings, gifts, clothes, perfumes, flowers, etc. On the contrary, if a person thinks that the other is not worth the time and money, little will be invested and, then again, one never knows where that relationship will end up.
So, with all that said, I would like to suggest that you consider looking at a “future marriage relationship” as something too serious to be considered and developed lightly, gamily, jokingly, without much prayer and alone. This is serious business, friends! God never intended for a marriage relationship to be dealt with so “playfully” or so “vulgar”. That’s why I say that the secret for a good marriage is the way we start the relationship – Dating? Courting? Respecting? Disrespecting? How did you start your marriage? How do you teach your teens to start their future marriages?
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