Before I married the love of my life I had one question: is it possible to live and love the same person for the rest of my life?
I asked this question to a friend (my cell group leader at the time - 1991). With much wisdom she answered that each year the love matures and becomes different, even better!
Wow! I will never forget that answer. I have actually been experiencing this day-by-day.
Recently, I have been thinking about this again. As you know, in English we can "fall in love" and "fall out of love", right? I guess this is true! It is easy to fall out of love with your husband! All you have to do is: do not forgive him, do not say good things about him, do not put him on his leadership position (it is SO easy to take up his leadership position!), do not look at him with tenderness and compassion! That's all!
Between the "two" of us, all the things that I just mentioned is very easy to happen, don't you think? Maybe it's just me, but I have a tendency to think that I am perfect (let me rephrase that, I used to have that tendency, but I have been set free). I have a tendency to think that I have (I used to have) the right answer for everything, that I knew everything, only my way was the right way to do things. I used to have the tendency to always complaint about my husband - complaint to him and complaint to others (the children are the first ones to listen to our complaints). Take up the family's leadership? That was the model I had, but I had to submit myself to the Lord and let Him transform my mind.
Finally, I would like to talk about the way we look at our husbands. Do we look at them with tenderness and compassion?
I speak based on my experience. I have given several "looks" at Bruce during our 21 years of marriage. When we were dating I used to look at him with passion, with love, or a look that said "I want to put you on my lap and put you to sleep", or the other way "I want you to put me on your lap and put me to sleep". But, after the first year of marriage the looks started to change. I had a critical look, a superiority look. I also had the "turning eyes" - that one is very sad!
But thank to God that gives us hope and forgives us! Praise the Lord who transforms us and gives us a new heart! Praise the Lord that transforms the way we look at people! When I look at my husband with Jesus' eyes, I look at him with passion, compassion, forgiveness, mercy, tenderness, patience. The same way that Jesus looks at me. The same way I want my husband to look at me.
Bruce has always told me that he feels very special when we are in a party (for example), and I look at him across the room with an approval smile, with tenderness, with passion. That makes him feel a loved, respected and desired man!
How about you? How do you look at your husband?
If you want, please share your experience or a comment on my Facebook page.
With a loving look, from your friend,